We had a solar eclipse today. A really special one! The news told us that it would be extra-special because only people in the Pacific would be able to see it. So, being in Hawaii, I was SO excited! I went out and bought the special glasses with little viewing lenses so I wouldn't go blind trying to see it. I got my students all fired up about it. I set the alarm on my phone to go off so I wouldn't get distracted and miss it. And then I waited. At 2:23pm, as predicted, the moon moved a teensy tiny bit in front of the sun. Here we go! It was going to take about an hour for the whole thing, so I had to be patient and attentive. It was really hot outside, and I didn't want to get sunburned, so I waited inside. Every few minutes I ran out to check the progress. It was moving! Then it was time to head home from work. While I was stopped at traffic lights, I peeked out my window and checked out the eclipse. It was still moving! The moon was getting closer and closer to blacking out the sun. Then I got home, and decided to go for a run. I took the special glasses with me on my run so I wouldn't miss anything. I stopped and checked a few times on the run. Still moving! Finished the run, and somehow, the sun still wasn't quite there. So, I had time for a shower. Jumped out of the shower, dressed quickly, and ran to check on the sun again. It was over. I missed it! I couldn't believe it. I waited all day for it, I watched it periodically, and by 4pm, everything was over. How on earth was it movings so slowy for an hour, and then all the sudden, the whole thing was over?! I was so confused, and I was so upset. Something was wrong... so I went online and learned that today was only supposed to be a partial eclipse. It was never going to be a full one. I saw exactly what was supposed to happen. I even took pictures of it. And yet I couldn't help but feel disappointed that I had missed out on something: that this ‘something special’ was not so special after all because it was only a partial eclipse.
And then I got to thinking. How many times have I only been a partial eclipse? I work really hard to show other students how to pray, yet I don’t always spend my own time in prayer. I give talks and testimonies about simplicity and the social injustices surrounding consumerism… yet I can look around my room right now and see so many things I haven’t even picked up or looked at in months! I help coordinate service programs, but I don’t actually go out and do the service myself. I force students who don’t get along to sit down and talk it out, yet I consciously make the choice to not-speak-with some of my coworkers. I talk about the Marianist Charism and importance of always building community, yet I live alone and will spend an entire weekend locked up in my apartment, ignoring the rest of the world. I spend so much time supporting others and helping them through problems with their families, yet I don’t always take time to care for my own family. It reminds me of the story of the Rich Young Ruler in Matthew/Mark/Luke. He kept the commands, but at the end of the day, Jesus presented him with a challenge he just could not handle. "One thing you still lack: sell all that you possess and distribute it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” (Luke 18:22) Just like the Rich Young Ruler, I have definitely done my part to participate in the eclipse, but I’ve never been a total eclipse. I have only ever been a partial eclipse. And when I think about how much I was let down today by this partial eclipse, I can’t even imagine how much I have let down others. I can't even imagine how much I have let God down.
